ticcyyy: (Default)
ticcyyy ([personal profile] ticcyyy) wrote2010-01-09 06:59 am

A Glimpse Of Second Chances (House/Cuddy, NC-17)

title: A Glimpse Of Second Chances
pairing: House/Cuddy
rating: NC-17
words: 2,700
disclaimer: When the vulture flies sideways, the moon has hair on its upper lip.
notes: This is for my darling boy, [livejournal.com profile] wolf_in_sheeps. ♥ Many thanks to my first readers, who picked up all my silly mistakes. Any further silly mistakes found are purely my own. Feedback and concrit is much appreciated! ♥

summary: It was so easy to believe she and House had something special and unbreakable during times like this. Cuddy had been burned enough times in previous relationships to know what traps she ought not to fall into. Yet, with House, he left her so tangled up inside that sometimes she couldn't even think straight. Like right now.

A Glimpse Of Second Chances
by Ticcy

"Faster," Cuddy quietly gasped against the conch of House's ear.

Her hands were in his hair, holding him close while he breathed hard and hotly against the curve of her throat. He obeyed; the creaks from the bed frame quickened, became a little louder, as House deepened his thrusts. Sex was the last thing Cuddy had anticipated on this cold November night, though she'd been far from surprised when House had rolled over, unsettling the bed covers she'd had so snugly tucked around her, and she felt his erection pressing against her ass. His hands had started caressing, too, lightly skimming over her hips and belly, between her legs and up to her breast, and for a while she'd pretended she was still asleep.

The warmth of his body, the gentleness of his touch - she didn't get to experience it often, for he wasn't one to show that side of him even after all these months of being in this undefinable relationship together. Undefinable because that was exactly what it was - something Cuddy didn't know how to describe, something she wasn't even sure worked most of the time. She'd long since given up trying to understand why House did things the way he did or why he even wanted to be in this relationship when he seemed to dislike her more often than not. And she'd long since given up trying to work out why the hell she put up with the constant fights or why she was even in love with him in the first place. Not that she'd told him that, of course. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

He muffled a grunt into her neck and Cuddy untangled her fingers from his hair and slid them down his broad, clammy back. Underneath her palms, his muscles flexed and rippled with the movement of his body. She turned her head to him and sucked his earlobe in between her teeth, her hands reaching his ass to pull him into her deeper.

For a moment, she opened her eyes. Strands of his greying hair caught the weak moonlight beaming through the window. The room was dark save for her bedside clock, its digital numbers reading 3:21 am. She had work the next day; she was going to be wrecked from having broken sleep, from sex, from the mere exhaustion that being around House for too long could bring her. She didn't want him to stop, though. She never wanted him to stop when he was passionate with her, enough to almost make her think he might love her in return.

"Oh," she softly whimpered. The deep pounding strokes of his penis moving within her was creating friction in all the right places. Each grind of her clit against his pelvis made the heat inside her spread faster and she drew a leg up to wrap over the back of his thighs, to grind even closer. He was as close as she could possibly have him, yet it didn't feel close enough. She was greedy when it came to sex and she knew it, but she didn't care. Years of disappointing relationships and sex that left her empty and unfulfilled would do that to anybody.

But more than that, House did things to her in ways she couldn't always explain and wasn't always proud to admit. He made her feel emotions she was never sure was safe to have around him. The more he gave, the more she craved. He was her one weakness, he always had been, and she was pretty damn sure he knew it.

Cuddy rolled her hips with increasing desperation, pinning him to her with her hands on his ass. She rolled her head away from him to draw in a shaky breath and arched her neck in response to the sudden touch of his mouth on her throat. "Harder," she pleaded. She squeezed his ass to encourage him. "Harder." Then she choked, "God, right there."

House dragged his mouth and chin up her neck and she turned her head back to him to capture his lips. All she could do while he kissed her was pant helplessly around his teeth tugging at her bottom lip and his tongue probing against hers. Cuddy returned her hands to his head and clutched his face. She opened her eyes to find his open, too, staring with an intensity that was almost too much to bear. Feeling his hand down on her leg, she tightened it around him as he tugged her closer as if trying to push deeper inside. Her heart was pounding, her stomach and chest tied in House-shaped knots. If he wasn't so House, she'd have said right then and there, three words that she knew would probably ruin everything.

Quickly, she lowered her hands to his shoulders and shoved, hard enough to force him to roll off and she rolled with him. His penis slipped out and the loss of contact left her with a sudden and desperate ache, her hips moving with sheer need to have him back inside her. Straddling his thighs, she reached down and guided him straight back inside her with a throaty groan. He grabbed her hips while she braced her hands on his chest and began rocking her pelvis in greedy thrusts. Wet sounds came from where their bodies were joined with each slide up and down his length and hearing House trying to stifle a moan, Cuddy dared to open her eyes and look down at him. Again, he was looking right back at her, staring, focused, transfixed on her face as though wanting to see every reaction.

Those three words were on the tip of her tongue again. She bit her lip to hold them back, instead throwing her head back with another gasp just as House leaned up to snag her left nipple in his mouth. She arched her back, pushing her breasts closer to him, then looked down to watch him sucking and licking. His eyes were closed now, a deep frown on his forehead, and Cuddy lifted her hands to cradle his head.

She dragged her nails through his hair. "Don't stop," she begged in a whisper. Each suck sent shocks of pleasure down to her clit, her vagina, causing heat to pool even heavier deep in her pelvis.

House sat up further and slid both hands up her back, his mouth transferring to her other breast. Their thrusts turned into a deep grinding and she could feel his penis rubbing against a spot that was quickly going to be her undoing. It was causing white heat to ignite in her pelvis and the base of her spine, something she wanted more of, wanting him deeper inside her.

Another helpless gasp escaped her as she spread her thighs wider, trying to flatten her pelvis right to his. He rocked into her in shorter but faster thrusts, still tormenting her nipples with his lips and tongue. Cuddy wrapped her arms around his head and gripped on tight, looking down at him once again to watch the way he sucked her nipple. "Yeah," she breathed shakily. Sweat was fast breaking out on her skin as her pulse increased and the urge to hit climax grew steadily more intense. She curled her fists into his hair and let out another plea for him not to stop, to keep going, harder, and then the pace of her thrusts suddenly changed.

"Ohh," she called out. Her breathing deepened. Her senses began whiting out and she threw her head back as an orgasm overtook her. With each throb of pleasure she was helpless to do anything except call out, neck exposed and mouth slack. She was trembling by the time her climax started to ease. Her thighs shook slightly, her stomach muscles twitched and her breathing was hard and laboured.

For a few moments, all she could do - all she wanted to do - was cling onto him. The way he held her securely in his arms, she could almost believe in that very moment that he loved her. Turning her head back down, she grasped House's face and made him look up at her, closing her mouth over his. The kiss was deep and frantic while House moved his hands down to her ass to pull her closer.

She kept rocking her hips in time with his, arching her back to press up right against him. He grunted into her mouth, fingers digging into her ass, and suddenly he was coming, too. Cuddy kept his face clutched in her hands. She pulled back to look down at him, at the sheer vulnerability on his face. She cherished these moments; times like this were the only times House was without any walls or inhibitions. He was stripped of every defence mechanism he always used to keep her at bay. - no sarcastic remarks, no leering looks, no antics designed to embarrass or anger her. Like this, right now, he wasn't House. He was Greg, the House she'd known that night when they were in college. For another foolish moment, those three words almost slipped out of her mouth again. Instead, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and raked her fingers through his sweat dampened hair, then offered the smallest hint of a smile when he finally opened his eyes to look up at her.

Cuddy caressed her thumbs over his cheekbones. He craned his neck up for another kiss, which she met with light, barely there sucks to his lips. "You bastard," she softly said. "You know I have to work tomorrow."

"Like I care."

She chuckled at how groggy he sounded. She affectionately stroked her hands down either side of his face and let them fall to his chest. She exchanged a few more kisses with him, lazy and quiet and tender. Another thing about House she had to truly cherish: afterglow. It was almost always a dangerous moment, his guard down and her emotions raw. It was so easy to say something stupid. It was so easy to believe she and House had something special and unbreakable during times like this. Cuddy had been burned enough times in previous relationships to know what traps she ought not to fall into. Yet, with House, he left her so tangled up inside that sometimes she couldn't think straight. Like right now. Wanting him, craving him overtook all sense and reason, something she often hated herself for when hindsight came into focus.

Pushing against his chest, she urged him to lie back and she went down with him. She settled atop him with her cheek on his chest. His penis was softening, slowly slipping out of her. Under her ear, his heart beat in quick, dull thumps. She closed her eyes when his hand came up to caress her head and her back and for a short while, she lay with him like this. Fatigue began setting in as her body cooled and her heart rate calmed. Small aches from their lovemaking twinged in her muscles. She was going to be sore tomorrow.

She opened her eyes when he stopped caressing her back and saw him scratching his chin before rubbing his hand over his face. The want to tell him her feelings had passed, but not for the first time she was now left with other questions, the sorts that she always had after sex. Questions she'd always been too afraid to ask because, when it came to House, some things were best left unsaid. But two months of this, of sex and dinner together, usually at her place, and phone calls and staying the night in each other's beds - she had a pretty good idea where this was all heading. But then again, nothing was simple to understand or make sense of when it came to House. He lived by his own definition of things, many of which didn't even come close to what her definition of those same things were.

Cuddy swallowed and tilted her head up against his chest to look at his face. His eyes were closed but she could tell he was awake. "Is this ever going to have a happy ending?" she quietly asked.

She felt him tense. He blinked his eyes open and glanced at her before training his eyes towards the wall. "Bit late for that kind of conversation, isn't it?"

"You're the one who woke me."

"That was different."

She wanted to demand to know how it was different but she already knew the answer. It was different because it was sex, because he'd initiated it. She bit her lip again, debating whether to press on. "Just answer me."

"Or what?" House replied, dismissive.

Cuddy tried not to be stung by the carelessness in his tone. She lifted her head so she could see his face better. "It's just a question, House."

"There's no such thing as happy endings."

She frowned. "You don't even think there's a chance?"

Finally House turned his eyes back to her. "There's no such thing as happy endings because nothing ever ends."

Uncertain what House meant, Cuddy studied him while he once again looked elsewhere. She couldn't work out if he was being his usual pessimistic self or if he was obscurely offering her an answer that she hoped to hear. She of course wasn't stupid or gullible enough to believe happy endings existed - but she liked to think that everything had a solution, a positive outcome of some kind. Perhaps that was naive of her but in her experience with love and romance, she hadn't had any luck. Hope was the only thing that kept her going, just like she hoped this thing between House and herself meant something beyond convenience or a distraction.

With a quiet, frustrated sigh, she pushed off him and rolled away to her side of the bed. She reached down for the bedsheets and drew them over her body. Between her legs was sticky and wet with semen but she decided she'd deal with that later. She settled on her back and stared up towards the ceiling, the afterglow of her orgasm replaced with growing discontent. Maybe she never should have opened her mouth. House never liked talking about deep and personal things at the best of times. With another sigh, she turned her head to look over at him. He was on his back, too, gazing up at the ceiling with an arm tucked under his head.

"We can't just keep doing this if none of this means anything," she said.

House looked over at her. "Who said anything about it not meaning anything?"

"You," she softly replied. "In so many words."

He stared at her and Cuddy gazed back, waiting for him to say something. Instead, he looked away again. Her heart sank. Of course he wasn't going to talk. She was stupid to think he ever would. Trying to shove her irritation aside, she turned over onto her side away from him and closed her eyes to go back to sleep. Not more than a minute later, her eyes were open again and she absently peered at the wall. Perhaps questioning what she had with House - if she even had anything with him - was a stupid thing to do. Maybe accepting that this was as good as it was going to get was her only option. That was a dissatisfying thought.

"Nothing ever ends," House said again. Cuddy startled slightly at the sound of his voice breaking the silence. She opened her mouth to demand what he meant by that but he beat her to it. "A relationship ends, you still carry it around with you for years afterwards. There's never anything happy about that."

Cuddy frowned. Stacy crossed her mind. Then the countless failed relationships she'd had. She supposed he was right, but...

"I've had twenty years to walk away," he continued.

"You did walk away."

"That was twenty years ago."

She hesitated. "So, you're saying...?"

"I'm saying that I'm not going anywhere this time."

At first, Cuddy wasn't sure how to interpret his response. But then a small smile crept onto the corners of her mouth. Luckily she was turned away from him where he couldn't see it. Maybe later, when hindsight became crystal clear, she'd regret ever saying anything at all. But right now, all that mattered was the reassurance of House's words. She was probably stupid for holding onto hope so tightly, that he truly wouldn't run away like he had the first time they'd had a chance. Hope, however, was the only thing that kept her going, kept her believing that all the fighting she'd done for House over the years wasn't for nothing.

"You're right," she replied. "This isn't going to have a happy ending."

"Exactly," House agreed. He yanked the covers tighter over his shoulders. "Shut up. I'm trying to sleep."

Cuddy's smile broadened and she she shook her head almost imperceptibly. "Good night, House," she said fondly.

"Whatever," House replied.

She kept smiling to herself as he shifted onto his side away from her, and she listened to his breathing even out to quiet snores before finally settling down herself to sleep.


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